Ways To Annoy Someone Who's Not A Harry Potter Fan
by tjmakay
Summary: All Ideas are appreciated. Feel free to contribute
1. 1 to 12

Ways To Annoy Someone Who Is Not a Harry Potter Fan

1-12

1. Go up to someone and ask them if they know where to get an application for Hogwarts

2. When a friend gets a new kitten tell them to name it Crookshanks and insist it's part kneazle

3. When a new installment is coming out remind them 50 times a day the whole week before

4. Proclaim July 31st Harry Potter Day

5. Rename April Fool's Day Fred and George Weasley Day

6. Go to the bar and ask for a butterbeer.

7. Carry around any random weird looking thing and tell them it's the horn of a crumple horned snorkack

8. Go up to them and say "Are you a wizard or a muggle?"

9. Go around saying your name is Jo Rowling

10. Talk with a British accent. It's even funnier when you are not actually from Great Britan

11. Hog the computer writing Harry Potter Fanfiction

12. Go to the fireplace and ask them if they have any floo powder


	2. 13 to 24

Thanks to EvilMuffinsOfDeath for their Contribution to this Chapter :-)

13-24

13. Attempt to apperate/disapperate at every opportunity and use 'wizard swears' when it doesn't work.

14. Make up your own wizard swears! such as ' for the love of dementors' and use it whenever possible

15. Whenever anyone says the word 'up' scream 'ascendio' and imitate Harry pointing his wand upwards (from the fourth movie)

16. Confuse them with HP lingo.

17. Find a way to relate anything and everything to HP.

18. Hit them over the head with the books. (specially the heavy big ones)

19. Make entire skits up in drama class that are about HP.

20. When you're in Spanish class, and the teacher says sucio, you think 'that sounds like crucio' and never let that fact go...

21. Tell them that only cool people read the books

22. Complain nonstop about how the movie was crap!

23. Cry every time you see an owl and say "Hedwig " over and over again

24. Start sounding like Molly Weasley (WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!.....)


	3. 25 to 36

Thanks to Spotless for their contributions to this Chapter

25-36

25. Get a stick that looks a lot like a wand wave it frantically in the air and make sure you mutter things that people won't hear. Then approach one person and poke your stick in his chest and scream AVEDA KEDAVRA the laugh loudly

26. Call your Chemistry class Potions. Say loudly "I hope Snape won't kill our necks if we make a mistake." Then ask " Did you bring your cauldron

27. Call your friend with bushy hair Hermione and call the one with red hair Ron

28. Feel disgusted with the people around you and say "Filthy Muggles"

29. Place a hat on the heads of the members of your family and your friends and sort them each into one of the 4 houses

30. Talk like Hagrid

31. Carry around a pink flowery umbrella

32. Rename the local pubs The Leaky Cauldron, The Three Broomsticks, or The Hogshead

33. Call your worst enemy Malfoy

34. Call the oldest, Wisest person you know Dumbledore

35. Ask your gym teacher when you are going to start a unit on quidditch.

36. Go to the local novelty shop and ask if they have skiving snackboxes


	4. 37 to 48

37- 48

37. Try to persuade Andrew Lloyd Webber to write (With Jo's help of course) Harry Potter: The Musical

38. Ask your rich relatives if they have a house elf

39. Try to make things float in the air using _wingardium leviosa _and than say "For Merlin's sake why isn't this working?" and get really frustrated when it doesn't work

40. When you see someone with long greasy black hair and a big nose go up to him and say "Wait a minute.... I thought the snake ate you."

41. If you lock yourself out of the house say Alohamora and than get mad when it doesn't unlock the door

42. Get a lightning bolt tattoo on your forehead

43. If you have to wear glasses get the round "Harry Potter" type frames

44. Get a job with Post or Kellogg's and invent Harry Potter cereal

45. Take a trip to England just so you can go to King's Cross Station and snap about 1,000,000 pictures of the "Platform 9 and 3 quarters sign

46. Try to make your photographs move

47. Sing Cauldron Full Of Hot Strong Love

48. Go to the record store and ask if they have a C.D. by The Weird Sisters


	5. 49 to 60

Thanks to FriendOfMolly for the first three:-)

49-60

49. When you need a pen, book, kitchen tools(no knives), or something yell ACCIO, then grumble when it doesn't work.

50. If faced with mean people , scream Expecto Patronum, watch them scatter

51. when one of your kids are acting up point and shout Stupefy, it might just stun them.

52. Complain how you don't know how to post your Potter fanfiction on the internet (I actually did this until I figured it out. lol)

53. Brag about how gorgeous Dan Radcliffe is

54. Watch EVERY non Harry Potter movie the main three have ever done (I have done this. Actually the only ones I have not seen is Ballet Shoes With Emma and a few Of Dan's Early work)

55. Complain about how you want to go see Equus because Dan is naked in it

56. Name your first son "Harry Potter" (Insert last name here)

57. Write a song about Harry

58. Run around singing Harry's singing Valentine

59. Gripe about how you can't see thestrals

60. Name any black dog you see Sirius


End file.
